


Practicality

by Lene3161



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, POV Natasha Romanov, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-10-21 02:17:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17634137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lene3161/pseuds/Lene3161
Summary: Black Widows are, above all, practical. Natasha, as the best Black Widow the Red Room has ever trained, should have been better at it. Unfortunately, her own ego blinded her.And wasn’t that ironic, what she accused Stark of was actually herself projecting?But no matter. She would rectify this. Starting with that critical bit of info Steve preferred to ignore.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because if you're going to write mostly-amoral spy with no sense of loyalty, you better do it right.
> 
> Also, this is my first work in this fandom, so please be gentle woth me.

 Natalia Romanova, or Natasha Romanoff, or Black Widow, was not a good person. She knew it, SHIELD knew it, Clint and the Avengers thought there was good in her that needed their effort to be brought forth. She let them fool themselves-it gave her an advantage, after all. And she was all about giving herself advantages.

 

What she was not, however, was ashamed of herself. She’d never been allowed to develop shame the moment the Red Room had gotten their hands on her at the tender age of three years, seven months and five days. Thus, she was not ashamed of her kills, her manipulations(especially the ones that involved sex-not that anyone should be made ashamed of a normal part of life), her stealing; it was all done and accepted with a cool understanding that this was what she was. This was what she did. This was all she knew.

 

But having someone think you are good can make you start acting to fulfill their expectations. Once, she was diamond-hard, able to kill any children without a second thought. Now, she recoiled at the thought of hurting Clint’s. Clint had softened her, Lorelei-no, Laura was what she goes by now-acted like she was somebody worth having around, Lila and Cooper had made her their _aunt_. It was her own damn fault, really. She had manipulated Clint into bringing her to SHIELD when she wanted out from the dying Soviet. She had to accept all the consequences of that. But it wasn’t too hard, as she did become genuinely fond of Clint and his family, and Coulson. That SHIELD agents were mostly in awe of her prowess also helped a great deal. But it had made her arrogant; well,  _more_ arrogant than before. If she had the capacity for it, she’d have been embarassed. As it was, she simply felt dismayed. 

 

Natasha sighed as she looked at the one who had made her realize all her wilful blindness. Joanne Thorne, ex-SHIELD agent, laid twitching on the ground. She had ambushed Natasha when she was out on a grocery run. Steve and Sam were at the small hotel room in Paris they had been renting for the last month. Joanne had jumped her while screaming about betrayal, HYDRA and torture and Tony rescuing her from her loss of cover. It had been all Natasha could pick up from the jumbled babble the woman spouted. It seemed she had had a mental breakdown and decided to hunt down those who had ruined her life. 

 

And it was incredibly short-sighted of Natasha to throw that temper tantrum and burn SHIELD to ashes. How sloppy of her. In her Red Room days, she’d have been tortured for her mistake. It had been the height of stupidity. She had effectively painted a bigger target on her back, along with Steve’s. What was worse, she had quite possibly put her position with Tony in danger. He had rescued all the SHIELD agents he could. Natasha thought him stupid for it. It would do the world good for people like SHIELD personnel to die. They knew what kind of organization they worked for, after all. And those who didn’t got a clue quick enough, but still did their jobs. It could be argued that their families, friends, and other people important to them deserved it-but it would be better to rid them of liars, thieves and murderers. Tony had seen and felt the consequences of what she did first-hand. He could decide to cut his losses with the Avengers when he realized how much destruction they did. And that would spell disaster for her. She would be alone. The KGB wanted her head on a platter, she'd destroyed SHIELD, and the American government wanted to arrest her. Steve wouldn't be enough. SHIELD's fall affected the entire world, and while the USA would happily follow Steve when he vouched for her, his name in the international world meant little.

 

Tony's name, however, was the opposite. He had power and influence almost beyond what she could comprehend. He was an invaluable asset and she'd gone and possibly ruined her control over him forever. She didn't think he would abandon her  _now_ , but he would dislike her after this whole thing, and it would be easier for him to recognize her manipulations if he was already inclined to see her actions negatively. She needed to rectify this. 

 

The question was  _how_? What could a murderer offer a man with the power to get anything he wanted? 

 

And in the end, it was ridiculously simple. 

 

Thorne grunted and started to heave herself up. Natasha kicked her in the head to knock her unconscious. Once that was done, she hurriedly went to hail a cab. She needed to fly to Tony and get on his good side before any more burned ex-SHIELD agents got to her. 

 

* * *

 

 

Once Natasha got off the airport, she started to plan out her reveal. She would definitely say Steve lied about telling Tony the Winter Soldier killed his parents. She honestly didn't care how they died, just how it looked when she said her piece. But Tony would see her as trying to tell him what he had a right to know. It would make Steve look horrible in comparison, but it was a necessary sacrifice. She was too vulnerable and needed to cut her losses. Steve would never have told Tony, she could see it now. Barnes meant too much to him for it to happen. How could she have been so wrong about him? She was excellent at reading people. How could she misread him so much?

 

 _Because you actually liked him,_ her mind murmured.  _You_ _misjudged. That truth would have ingratiated Tony to you, but you ignored it because you're arrogant and you don't care for him._ _You felt Tony was bad because of his actions when you observed him. Many prefer Steve to him. Steve made you feel safe. With Steve on your side, speaking for you, you felt less of a target. Also, he madeyou feel like the person you could have been had the Red Room not taken you._

 

Natasha grimaced. That was true. From the beginning, she felt babysitting a dying billionaire was beneath her, and that coloured her perception of Tony. But his actions spoke the opposite. He'd given to charity, he saved people. He was a hero. She was wrong about him. And now she was reaping the consequences of that.

 

But would it be too late? Maybe Potts, Rhodes and Hogan had already drilled into his head just how unhealthy the Avengers actually were. 

 

But she had to try. Her life may depend on it

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black Widows are trained on how to use near everything into a weapon. And Natasha turned the truth into hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that the Red Room and Hydra are different but that’s the only explanation I could think of that made sense. That would explain why Natasha wanted to destroy SHIELD immediately.

Natasha reached for her phone and turned it on. She had turned it off as soon as she had her epiphany, because she knew Steve would be calling nonstop in an effort to track her. Just as she had expected, Steve had called her a grand total of seventeen times, along with twenty-three texts that took on an increasingly panicked tone as she didn’t answer. She continued to ignore him, and called Tony.

 

”Nat?” Tony’s exhausted yet hopeful voice greeted her. “Where are you?”

 

She almost made a crack about his ego and need to control everybody around him, but restrained herself. It wouldn’t do to alienate him.

 

”Tony, I...this-this isn’t what-that is to say-“ She carefully pretended to be more nervous than she was so he’d think she had kept this to herself so long because she wanted to figure out the best way to tell him.

 

“Nat! Are you okay? Are you in danger? Tell me where you are right now!” 

 

How typical of him, to care for someone like her. Doesn’t care about anybody but himself her foot. She’d gotten taken in by his public persona, the one he displayed in front of her during her assessment. How could she have been stupid enough to forget that the way a famous person acted in public may not necessarily be how they acted among someone they trusted? Or maybe Tony was just an excellent actor, and she was fooled.

 

“I’m not in danger. I’m in New York. I made a mistake. How do I fix it?”

 

”What?” Tony honestly sounded confused. He musn’t have thought she would ever say those last nine words. And why would he? She admitted that she could be a haughty idiot. Especially at that Senate hearing. She wondered what she was thinking then-Tony could pull off such a move because he had the charm and influence to back it up. She, however, had neither of those things. She cursed herself for her complacency for the umpteenth time.

 

”SHIELD. It wasn’t a good decision. And I’m trying to fix things. How can I help?”

 

”I’m still in Italy rescuing some agents, so you need to meet up with Pepper in the Avengers Tower. She’ll figure out what you can do.” Tony sounded so goddamn  _happy_. It was almost pathetic how joyful he was at someone actually being a  _decent human being_. 

 

“Will do.” And now comes the difficult part. “Tony. When this is all over, when things have calmed down somewhat, we need to talk.”

 

”Nat, what happened?” He sounded wary. 

 

“I...there is something you need to know. And I know it’s better for you to be told when things are better. And when you’ve got your friends with you.”

 

”But I’ve got you. What is it, Nat?” He already thought her a friend? When she barely spoke to him more words then necessary for equipment and other requests? This was something she could use. For a genius, he sure was stupid. She didn’t consider him a friend. She wasn’t sure if she could think of anyone that way except for Clint, and Lore-Laura. 

 

“Look, when this is all over, call Pepper, Rhodes and Hogan into a room together with you. I have a feeling you’ll need them.”

 

”I’m not going to like this, aren’t I?”

 

”No, Tony. You’ll hate this.”

 

She hung up and hailed a cab straight to Avengers Tower.

 

* * *

 

Upon arriving, JARVIS directed her up to the penthouse. When she entered the spacious living room, she was met with a tired Pepper scowling at her.

 

”What are you up to, Romanova?”

 

Ah. That meant Pepper had found her files, the ones that had her birth name. That would mean she already knew her tricks and her past. Natasha wondered how she should play this. Pepper had a healthy upbringing, and her CEO job gave her an excellent sense for when people were manipulating her. Not easy to control. Well, she already knew what Natasha would try to do. That meant there was only one way: the truth.

 

”The thing with SHIELD was, frankly, a bad idea. And now, I’m in danger. The US wants to arrest me for treason, Russia-“

 

”I’m going to stop you right there. How dare you? You’ve got some nerve. You and Rogers put God knows how many families and friends of agents in danger and now you come here and ask for protection? Tell me, Romanova, why exactly should we do that? And don’t say you’re Tony’s friend, both of us know you aren’t. Especially when you don’t trust him enough to call him before airing SHIELD out to the world.”

 

”I’m willing to work together to clean up this mess I made. I’m sure you need as many hands on deck as possible. I know SHIELD, I’ve worked for them. I can help.”

 

”Yes, we’re going to put someone who didn’t care at all about the consequences of her actions to help with all the traumatized innocents. I’m sure that’s a good idea. Did you know, Clint’s family almost got killed? They relocated to a farm in the middle of nowhere just in time. Lorelei moved as soon as she heard the news.”

 

All the colour drained out of Natasha’s face. She hadn’t thought of that. Lorelei and her kids were supposed to be off the books. Her time as a SHIELD agent should have been erased. But then again, this was SHIELD. 

 

“The thought never crossed your mind, hm? With a friend like you, who needs enemies?” Pepper smiled at her coldly.

 

”I suppose following Steve’s idea wasn’t the best way to do things.”

 

”Trying to pin the blame on Steve, are you? Guess what, Romanova-you could  _not_ follow his orders. You could prevent him from doing it in the first place. I know your skills in manipulation extend that far. But you didn’t, because you could care less about SHIELD. You were angry because you hadn’t noticed Hydra, threw a hissy fit and took it out on SHIELD.”

 

”We were compromised. Steve more than me. But I didn’t see that. I...I liked him. That was why I didn’t see how compromised he was. And why I latched on to him for what to do.”

 

”And why exactly are you both so compromised in the first place?” Pepper’s eyes narrowed. “Rogers I could understand. But you couldn’t care less about the morality of your actions. You don’t care who you work for. So why are you so shaken when SHIELD turned out to not be what it was?”

 

”I felt safe with SHIELD.” Natasha would much rather have her arm broken than to tell Pepper that. “They weren’t Hydra-they were supposed to fight Hydra. The Red Room and Hydra, they used to work together sometimes. That was where they got the idea to train Black Widows. They used Hydra’s methods, and some Hydra agents were even loaned out to be instructors. Knowing that SHIELD was infiltrated, that I never actually left the Red Room’s web-I was scared and I reacted. I didn’t think. I let my emotions overtake my reason. So I destroyed SHIELD.”

 

Pepper regarded Natasha carefully, like a lepidopterist would examine a particularly rare species of butterfly. “Do you know how many SHIELD agents were Hydra?” She said at length.

 

”No.”

 

”Twelve percent. Only twelve percent of SHIELD personnel was Hydra, and most of them were higher-ups, not the regular agents.”

 

That few? No wonder Pepper looked at her like dirt at the bottom of her shoe. She couldn’t care less about SHIELD agents, but she did care about their families and friends, and Natasha had put them in danger by her actions.

 

“I suppose I can’t fully blame you.” Natasha stared at Pepper in disbelief. “I’ve seen those files of yours. They did not make for pleasant reading.” That was an understatement. “The methods your ‘instructors’ used...’inhumane’ wouldn't cover it. It was understandable why you wanted to defect. I know that hatred of them was half the reason you manipulated Barton into taking you to SHIELD, with self-preservation from regime changes being the other half. Ironically enough, this whole episode with SHIELD is the most human and emotional I have ever seen you.”

 

Pepper sighed, and then said “I will cut you a deal, Romanova. You will work for us, but you will no longer undermine and gaslight Tony. There will be no manipulations of him at all. The moment I see the slightest hint of emotional abuse, you will find yourself in prison before you could blink. You will manipulate the Avengers instead. You have set Tony up to be their scapegoat and chequebook. You can certainly take him out of that role. You will also convince the Avengers to agree to oversight by me. Tony would no longer be the Avengers’ sugar daddy, but hopefully a more equal member of the group.” Natasha noticed how she didn’t use ‘team’. 

 

“That will be difficult. Steve wouldn’t agree to it.”

 

”You are the Black Widow, the greatest asset of the Red Room and one of SHIELD’s most important agents. I’m certain you could do it.” Pepper sounded condescending.

 

“Not in this matter. Steve has a secret, one he doesn’t want anyone to know. It concerns Tony.”

 

Pepper sat up straighter. Her shoulders stiffened. Her face grew dark. She looked ready for war.

 

”And what exactly is this secret that he is so eager to keep away from Tony?” Her voice was as frigid as Siberia.

 

“I’m not sure this sort of thing should be told to anybody except Tony.” She needed to be the one to tell it to Tony. Pepper would see she only did it out of self-preservation, but Tony would see it as her being a good friend.

 

”I’m one of his closest friends, Romanova. Anything that involves him, involves me. Tell me now.” Natasha now understood how Pepper could run a multi-billion dollar company in a man’s world. 

 

“The Winter Soldier, a Hydra assassin, killed Tony’s parents. Bucky Barnes is the Winter Soldier. He made their deaths look like a car accident. He went missing recently. Steve doesn’t want Tony to know so he could use Tony’s resources to find him.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

Pepper’s face slackened in shock before morphing into rage. “How long have you both known this?” She asked, her hands clenched into fists.

 

”Since SHIELD fell.”

 

Pepper’s face went stony again. With visible effort, she got her anger under control and unclenched her fists. There was blood on her palm and under her nails.

 

”How did you find out?” She hissed.

 

”We found a computer with the consciousness of Zola installed. He implied that Hydra assassinated Tony’s parents. The Winter Soldier is known as Hydra’s best. They’d never entrust the murder of two such prominent figures to anybody but the best.”

 

Pepper let out a long string of filthy curses. Taking a deep breath, she asked, “Why now? Why did you tell me now, instead of telling Tony as soon as you found out?” Natasha heard the unspoken question: why didn’t you use this to manipulate Tony? What is your angle?

 

”I knew Tony would know eventually. So it’s better for him to be told as soon as possible, because if we let him find out on his own he’ll resent us and that will affect team dynamics. Tony’s an excellent hacker who’d definitely go through Hydra’s data when he heard SHIELD was infiltrated, or another hacker will. Hydra may even try to use this against him. Either way, he’ll find out soon enough. I made Steve promise to tell him. I felt that sort of emotional revelation would come best from him. In hindsight, that was foolish. He was compromised where Barnes was concerned.”

 

”When did you realize he’ll never tell Tony?”

 

”Yesterday. If he told Tony, he’ll have immediately cut off our access to his funds. Given that I used his debit card for groceries in France, it was obvious he didn't keep his word.”

 

”Then why didn’t you keep it to yourself? I know you, Romanova. You dislike Tony, and you’ll hold this to yourself to soothe your petty ego.”

 

Natasha grimaced at Pepper’s assessment. She couldn’t deny it. “I realized I was in danger because of my actions. So I chose to side with the man who can keep me safe. I tried to tell him earlier, but he seemed concerned for my safety. I realized that he may like me, but you definitely don’t. So I decided to help you all to cement my position before telling Tony the news.” Not that it did her any good right now. For the first time in a long time, Natasha was facing consequences. She didn't like it. She should have told Tony on the phone. Once again, she had misread Tony and his friends.

 

“You mean a SHIELD agent attacked you.” Pepper made an educated guess.

 

”Yes.” Natasha didn’t see any point in denying the obvious.

 

Pepper regarded Natasha impassively. Pursing her lips, she eventually said, “I’ll give you a day to rest. Tomorrow, we’ll send you out to extract agents. They need to see you're fixing your mistakes by directly going out and saving people yourself. JARVIS, please direct Natasha to her floor.”

 

Natasha inclined her head. She went into the elevator and the AI brought her several floors down into a living room just as spacious and luxurious as Tony's penthouse. It was clearly designed to put her at ease-it had an open-plan layout with the kitchen and dining room with as few obstructions in her line of sight as possible. Deciding to explore a bit, she walked through the place Tony had offered her after the New York invasion. Just as she suspected, everything was practically tailor-made for her. There was a gym, a ballet studio, and even a room for weapons. The weapons were clearly Stark tech, which was surprising considering how serious Tony was about never making weapons again. It seemed he made an exception for people he considered his friends. It was disconcerting, how quickly he got attached. Natasha had taken years to become fond of Clint, yet here was Tony bestowing his generosity on people he barely saw. No wonder his friends were so worried about him, he was surprisingly easy to take advantage of despite his CEO years.

 

Deciding she needed to call Lorelei and apologize, Natasha went back to her living room. Hesitating, she pulled her phone out only to see seven new missed calls from Steve. She scowled before ignoring him yet again. She wondered what she should do about Lorelei. She doubted anything she could say or do would be enough to apologize for the fact she put her and her children in danger. Maybe she could-

 

No. Manipulating her was out of the question. It galled Natasha that she considered doing it to her friend, no matter how briefly. And even if she  _did_ manipulate Lorelei, JARVIS would certainly report it to Pepper. She knew Pepper was having her under surveillance, it would be stupid not to. And Pepper was many things, but stupid was not one of them.

 

Deciding that the truth would serve better than anything else she could say, Natasha took in a deep breath, and dialled Lorelei's number. She hoped she would still have a family at the end of this.

 


End file.
